If anyone is interested, check out my new blog here: [link] I have not had a public blog in a while, but I was inspired by my recent experiences to create a small space on the web where I can express myself. I think I will mostly be writing about art-related stuff.

Anyway Fan Expo was fun, and pretty much what I had expected. I had a blast with my friends, and was happy to meet and exchange a couple of words (literally lol, most of us couldn't leave the table often) lots of talented artists there. I'm not sure if I'll be returning next year, it'll have to depend on whether I have enough money saved up for the price of the table. The table price keeps rising. >_<

On another note, I'm very excited that school is starting in a week!

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Communities:

Off to Fanexpo tomorrow morning! I'm so laid back about this con. I haven't done much in terms of preparing for it. Usually I spend at least 2 weeks of devoting all my time to getting ready for a convention, but I think I've been feeling kinda burnt out about conventions in general, so this time I'm just going to go in with lower expectations. I'll try to get rid of my old prints and relax a bit, maybe even walk around the con and enjoy what it has to offer. I'm really excited about seeing the people I've met over the past couple of years, I always have lots of fun with them. ^_~

Well I hope everyone has fun! I'll be at table A108 if anyone wants to come by for a chat.

Back from Baltimore! it's been an interesting weekend to say the least. It was my first time driving so far...well technically it wasn't really me driving, but it's my first time being in a car for 12+ hours for a trip. I don't think I have a big impression to write down right now because the weekend passed by really fast for me, everything is like a blur, and I don't know how to feel about it. It -was- a great con though, and there were lots of ppl. Artwork-wise, I've never seen so many crazy, amazing artists together in one room haha...and it's funny how many Toronto-based artists there were *yay go canada haha* Usually at Animenorth I wouldn't get a chance to walk around and look at other ppl's work, but for this con, I was able to take lots of little trips around the area and actually buy prints/chat with other artists. The experience was humbling and inspiring at the same time. As for how I did, well, if I'm to add everything up and disregard all the frivolous splurging I did, then I'd say that I just about broke even, which I'm content with. I'm now even more charged up to work hard and improve this coming year, and if all goes well, I'll be back at Otakon again next year!

Well, I'll be off to Otakon next week. My first time at the artist alley there...and I have no idea what to expect. Preparing for this thing had brought upon me a slew of problems and questions. Basically, I recognize the fact that I'm not in high school anymore, and unlike the time when I was able to pull semi-decent things outta my...well, outta me the night before and still get away with it...I just can't do that anymore. It's funny how it's taken me two years to really see what bad habits I've formed. I don't think I'm a bad person, and that I'm completely without potential in anything I want to do, it's just that I lack that drive and passion that people always talk about. At first I thought it was because I'm not capable of feeling it, "maybe art is not really my thing," but I think that's just an excuse to continue not to do anything. In reality, I just don't have enough focus...aka. I'm lazy. Over the past few years, I have made very little progress in terms of art, and the only time I really drew/painted was for conventions. I have improved a little bit, and I can see some accumulated knowledge showing through here and there, but I could've done so much more. Other than being lazy, I feel like there's just something not right, something stuck inside of me...I just need to break through it somehow and get on with it.

Although I went through a lot of frustration and self-analyzing, it still helped me understand where I'm at a little more. I think I do have more focus now, and with a bit more time that focus can be nurtured into something stronger. For now, my immediate problem is my inability to produce a lot of new work for Otakon. I've tried, and ended up with nothing, so instead of sitting there staring blankly at the wall, I decided that for now I will just bring back all of the work I've done before that I actually liked, and rework them as much as I can, applying what I've learn this year and hopefully pushing them to a new level. And yes, that includes that new naruto fanart I did...aie, t'was only a day and already all those glaring mistakes are killing me. As I was looking back though, I thought: I really really sucked haha, and I'm sure what I do today I will look back upon and grimace at it...but hey, I guess we all have to take these steps, and although I'd love to continue to complain/rant about it, I should probably just suck it up, accept my limitations of the moment, and renew my efforts in learning and practicing what I need. (ok maybe 1000x that admittedly non-existent effort.)

There, that was a good pep talk for myself. Very nice Ashling. Off to bed now!

let's see where this goes...

(moved here from my old account http://sakurascented.deviantart.com)